Sure, here’s a totally human, slightly chaotic version of the article:
Okay, so like, Supergiant’s doing this thing again where they’re pushing another “final” Hades 2 patch. Yeah, I know, yet again. Seems kinda like those bands that have 75 farewell tours before they settle in Vegas forever, right? Anyway — hold up — this isn’t just about a pile of tiny tweaks in their patch notes. Maybe there’s more to it. Or not. Hard to say.
So, you peek at Patch 10 and then Patch 11, and it kinda feels like they’re maybe overanalyzing. Just a tad. For instance, Melinoe’s weapons have been through some rollercoaster changes. First, they slow down the Umbral Flames in Patch 10, and then they speed them up with a special twist in Patch 11. What’s up with that?
But then you actually play it, hear it — like, the sounds and everything — and no, this was spot-on. Supergiant’s endless little buffs, nerfs, whatever, over the last year, are all great. Okay, except, maybe… Hestia’s boons, which feel like they’re attacking me personally, ha!
I mean, Supergiant kind of gets what makes us players lose our minds. Not just the big, obvious stuff, like making Chronos less of a nightmare, but the tiny things too. You know, how many enemies you face in Olympus, just tweaking movement times and stuff. Honestly, that’s huge.
I dropped off Hades 2 pre-Warsong update because, let’s face it, Olympus was a total pain back then. Seriously, that ridiculous path up there just to get creamed by a bazillion enemies? Nope, no thanks. Patch 11 might just coax me back, though, and, yeah, I’m pumped for 1.0.
What’s wild is most of these changes? They’re not from community complaints. They’ve got this megaphone icon in the notes if it’s a community idea, like when they sped up Hex activations. But most changes? Seems like the devs just know what feels right before you do. It’s mind-boggling.
During early access, especially when Patch 10 rolled out, Supergiant was all like, “We promise Hades 2’s 1.0 launch is gonna be killer.” Which, hey, cool. But lately, tons of games dive into early access and stay there forever, or “unlaunch” — looking at you, 1047 Games with Splitgate 2. Their CEO even admits to not getting what players want. Fun, right?
So yeah, Supergiant, take your sweet time. Push those “last” updates until the cows come home. Waiting’s a pain, but I’ll hang in there.
