NINJA GAIDEN: Ragebound Launches Next Week

Sure, here’s an attempt at rewriting the article to meet your requirements:

—

So, like, turns out Dotemu and The Game Kitchen have got something up their sleeves. Yeah, they’re dropping NINJA GAIDEN: Ragebound on PlayStation and Nintendo Switch come July 31. Why that date? No clue really, but hey, mark the calendar!

Oh! But before we dive in, there’s this random bit where you gotta toss in your birthdate to watch a video. Like, who really cares what day you were born to see some pixels? Anyway, go figure.

Okay, picture this: The folks who brought us Blasphemous are weaving a new yarn, twisting that old NINJA GAIDEN spell with new magic. It’s like Tecmo (or whatever they’re called now, KOEI TECMO GAMES?) meeting its 3D self in this epic game hug. Retro meets fresh vibes. Love it or hate it, your call!

So, Ryu Hayabusa — yes, the ninja dude, — is off to America. Family stuff, I guess. Meanwhile, back at the ninja ranch, all hell breaks loose. Seriously, demon portals or something? The usual Tuesday afternoon chaos.

Enter Kenji Mozu! This young ninja hotshot decides, heck, I’ll save the day. With Ryu being MIA, the guy’s in a bit of a pickle. Demon dudes running amok. He’s gotta team up with the Black Spider Clan? Yeah, it’s wild. Imagine blending souls with your arch-nemesis. That’s next-level friendship goals, right?

Gosh, remember those old-school gaming vibes? Smash buttons till your thumbs scream? Ragebound’s tipping its hat to that vintage flair. But wait, there’s nuance here. Meet Kenji’s partner-in-crime, Kumori. They’re slicing and dicing together, and it’s not just mindless brawling. It’s like poetry in motion with ninja stars.

And let’s talk visuals. If pixel games had a glossy mag cover, this would be it. Like, enemies have more detail than I bother noticing in real life. They’ve sprinkled that nostalgia fairy dust, with pixel art that’s part retro love letter and part modern masterpiece.

So, are you ninja enough to face the virtual gauntlet? Or just gonna spectate from the civilians’ seats? Choice is yours.