Review of “Tales of the Shire”

Won’t lie. This won’t fill you up like a good Sunday roast.

Imagine this: a place packed with coziness like grandma’s blankets — you know, the ones that smell a bit like lavender and something I can’t quite put my finger on. That’s Tolkien’s Hobbits. They’re all about homey vibes, tight-knit communities, and eating until you’re too full to move. So, when a game titled “Tales of the Shire: A Lord of the Rings Game” kicks off with that homey charm, you start thinking, “Hey, this might just work.” But… eh, not quite. It’s like trying to bake, getting distracted, and ending up with half-baked bread.

Now, where was I? Right, this game takes you back to cozy Bywater, somewhere between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Picture this newbie hobbit, probably with muddy feet, just finding their way around. You make your own story, starting with a little hobbit hole — freshly vacated, just like that one time I inherited an ugly chair from my aunt. Then you’re wrangling with quests about making Bywater a real-deal village in Hobbiton. It’s like running errands inside a maze — fun the first few times, then your feet hurt.

Cooking, yeah, there’s a lot of that. Sounds cool, right? Growing veggies, scouring for herbs, all leading back to — you guessed it — cooking! Perfect for a hobbit. But here’s the kicker: it’s pretty one-note. Every quest somehow ends up with you hosting a dinner and watching the same happy reactions over and over. Like, come on, mix it up a bit! Your hobbit could feast endlessly without feeling a rumble — which kind of misses the point of a good buffet, right? And yet, it’s chill in a way that wouldn’t ask much of you. Almost too chill, like those weekends where you do absolutely nothing, and it’s kind of bland.

It’s got one of those day-night cycles like other farming sims — a lovely detail, though sometimes you’re left twiddling thumbs with nothing to do, waiting for days to crawl by. I mean, fishing’s an okay time-killer, but anything more exciting, please?

Saying it’s out for the Nintendo Switch is kind of underselling it. It’s on Switch 2 too — tried both, and honestly, both look fine-ish, but those hobbit designs? A bit weird at times, not gonna lie. Like, when you expect a cute cartoon and get a creepy puppet instead. Interestingly, the second-gen Switch still fumbles with framerate issues, with both consoles getting into quite a twist sometimes. And boy, did I hit a really odd bug with the sky turning devilish red — spooky. Didn’t happen again though, thankfully. And jeez, those crashes! Every 20 minutes — it’s the gaming equivalent of your car breaking down halfway to the beach. You end up saving every five minutes just from paranoia.

It’s a great setup — could’ve been magical, really. Good writing, lots of heart. But feels like someone opened the oven way too soon. It should be warming and lovely but falls flat with all that stumbling and crashing. Hard to love it when you’re always fearing the next hiccup. Here’s hoping it gets polished up someday. Until then, maybe go for something with fewer technical hiccups.