Eagleopolis Falls as Helldivers 2 Players Defeat 2.5 Billion Squids, Leaving Six Mega Cities to Defend Super Earth

Alright, let’s try to get through this mess. So, I’ve got some news — both kinds, actually. Ever the optimist, let’s hit the positive first: Helldivers 2 has just pulled off a massive win by taking down a whopping two billion Illuminate — yeah, that’s a billion with a “b.” But, hold your cheers, because here comes the gut-punch: Eagleopolis has fallen.

I mean, there were so many Helldivers diving around, you’d think it would be enough to fend off those pesky Illuminate freaks. Super Earth’s seven Mega Cities, though? One of them’s toast now. Like, goodbye malls and all that. Me? I just need a hug from my SEAF buddy while watching someone riding a Leviathan wave. Don’t know why that works, but it does.

And speaking of waves, the last defense effort came crashing down this morning. Picture it: billions of Illuminate gone thanks to that Heart of Democracy update. And then, bam! Eagleopolis bites the dust anyway. Let’s say it together: “Oh no, Arrowhead!” Their latest update gives us the news — everything’s in ruins, and those shops? More depressing than Monday mornings.

But — wait a sec — it’s not all bad news, right? There’s still a long road ahead, but they’re chipping away at the Illuminate fleet. One Mega City might be down, but six are still kicking. Keep fighting the good fight, pals.

Arrowhead dropped some facts, by the way. The Illuminate Fleet is at 49% strength now. The Helldivers and their SEAF accomplices just have to keep pushing forward, even if it means sleepless nights and too much coffee… Do they drink coffee? Anyway, time’s running out to save the rest of the Mega Cities. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. Like socks to the dryer monster.

Next steps? Swipe out those Illuminate 20 million times or so. Hit that fleet where it hurts. And avenge poor Eagleopolis — which I’d say people might be crying over, unless it’s a bunch of Redditors doing their thing with fan art of SEAF troopers. Not weird at all…

Feeling all sentimental about Eagleopolis? Seriously, spill your heart out below.